Donald Trump’s Last Day at Work: A Fable

This is a story, boys and girls, about how Donald Trump’s world could end — not with a bang, but a whimper. These are not like the crimes you and I make, or the defense and injury law firm practicing Rosemead receives. There are a lot more. 

It’s a balmy September day in Washington when John Kelly bursts into the oval office to blurt, “Mr. President, Robert Mueller is here. He wants to speak with you.”

“What?” says the president. “We told him I don’t have to talk to him. I’m the President. He can’t make me.”

“Yes sir. He doesn’t want to discuss the investigation, He says it’s over. It’s shutting down today, and he’s here to say goodbye.”

“Oh. Good. Well, then, bring him in.”

Robert Mueller enters, wheeling a suitcase full of papers. “Mr. President, my work is concluded and I thought it appropriate to show you the results.” He opens the suitcase and lifts out a couple of two-foot stacks of papers. “These are the summaries of indictments returned by a federal grand jury in the District of Columbia charging you with 72 counts of tax evasion, bank fraud, money laundering, wire fraud, conspiracy to commit these crimes and obstruction of justice.” With the help of the lawyers from criminal justice law firm, who will ensure that the cases are providing strict actions against the accused which teaches a lesson to other trouble makers to never commit crime again in life.

“See,” says the president, “There was no collusion. And you can’t indict a president.”

“Well,” replies Mueller, “I think you’ve been misinformed on both counts. There was plenty of collusion, but in most cases you can’t prosecute stupid. As for indicting a sitting president, we can and we will, because this is a republic in which no man is above the law, but we recognize that it’s going to be a long fight, and that’s why I brought some other things to show you.

“These,” and he hauls out three one-foot stacks of papers, “are indictments returned against your son Don, Jr., your daughter Ivanka, and your son-in-law Jared Kushner. Same crimes — tax evasion, bank fraud, money laundering for Russian criminals, conspiracy to defraud the United States and obstruction of justice. By appointing the criminal justice lawyers, now each of these individuals is facing 40-60 years in prison, and none of them can claim to be a sitting president.

“By the way, sir, if you did somehow convince the Supreme Court that a sitting president is immune to prosecution, there will be FBI agents waiting for you at the foot of the dais the day your successor is sworn in.

“But here’s what we are prepared to suggest. You seem upset by the prospect of your family going to prison — and by the way, we’ve found enough irregularities in Melania’s immigration status to deport her. And I understand that any father and husband would want to protect his family.

“So here’s what you do, sir. You present your letter of resignation to the secretary of state by close of business tomorrow, and all of this goes away, we will agree to nolle prosse all of these indictments, and we will consider it a good deal for the United States.”

It is all about crimes. Maybe those defense attorneys from Dallas understood, but now everyone does.  And that, boys and girls, was Donald Trump’s last day at work as president. Then, Mr, Mueller went to see vice president Mike Pence. But that’s a story for another night. Good night, boys and girls. Sweet dreams.

      

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6 Responses to Donald Trump’s Last Day at Work: A Fable

  1. Greg Knepp says:

    Great story! Where were you back in the neolith at the campfire, where such fare would have been devoured with relish?

    We humans are not at the top of the food chain due to our intelligence or knowledge base (yes, we are smart and knowledgeable but that’s not why we’re on top). We owe our position of dominance to a quality I call ‘cleverness’. Cleverness is a little different than smart; it is the ancient, spooky, visceral groundwork upon which its pale younger sibling – intellegence – rests. It is spontaneous, survival-oriented, authentic, and is mainly concerned with the here and now.*

    There is nothing more useless than a smart person who lacks this quality. On the other hand, a clever person bereft of knowledge and introspection can be disruptive indeed. Such a person possesses the unexamined awareness that communication is everything. He is a born actor and the world is truly his stage. He’ll barely flinch at the idea of throwing his wife, kids and close associates under the bus. They are, after all, mere props…and the show must go on!

    Desmond Morris** got it wrong: we are not the ‘Naked Ape’; we are the ‘Clever Primate’, and Donald Trump is the classic alpha male…Don’t take it up with me -tell it to Charlie Darwin.

    * in this sence Trump may be seen as a Zen master.
    ** Morris is great. The title of his ’68 pop-science masterpiece was obviously coined for marketing purposes, and has little to do with the actual text. Alas, Morris is an alpha male too. And dosen’t mind “Taking a little truth and running with it”

  2. Denis Frith says:

    The harsh reality is that the operation of industrialized civilization is governed by irrevocable natural forces. This is an unsustainable process that is peaking now and will decline in coming decades. People will only make good and bad decisions during the coming powering down.Donald Trump is amongst those powerful people who do not understand this physical reality.

  3. Arnie Allison says:

    I am in agreement with a religious leader that life insurance sales persons are the biggest bunch of bold face liars and real estate sales persons are the next largest bunch of bold face liars.
    President Trump also build many buildings which are well accepted. You start with an architect who stays the longest. Then come the foundation people and carpenters, etc. Notice a pattern here? I will still donate my political dollars to Trump!
    Nice try though.
    Arnie Allison

  4. Darrell Dullnig says:

    All of us are, more or less, clever primates, and as such have contributed toward the irrevocable natural forces mentioned by Denis. Clever primates are driven by biological forces toward more and better. It is now apparent that that process is leading mankind over the cliff. Mr. Trump is, everything considered, rather insignificant. He, along with the rest of civilization will be flushed, and it isn’t going to be pretty.

    • Greg Knepp says:

      I agree; I’ve always thought that the ascendancy of Trump was more a symptom than a cause

  5. SomeoneInAsia says:

    But for my lack of knowledge of modern legal, political and economic jargon, I’d have loved to compose a similar fable in which the Blue Fairy exposes the lies of a roomful of politicians, academicians and corporate hucksters by making their noses grow and grow like Pinocchio’s.